Tuesday, April 9, 2013

A setback

You might say that I experienced a setback to my effort to convince myself that people aren't all awful.  (Except for my children, which we've established)  I lost a friend yesterday.  Not just a facebook friend, but an actual, real life friend, who lives just far enough out that we really only effectively functioned on facebook as friends anyway.  But yeah, one of my friends put something in a discussion, and while I wasn't even AWAKE, she had defriended me.  We talked about it a little and her stance was that If i could be friends with someone with opinions like "her" then i wasn't going to be her friend.  (Yes, i know this is OH so, Jr high)  Anyway, I shouldn't care.  I am so freaking used to rejection by now, that i should pretty much EXPECT the people i'm closest to to decide to throw me away, but for some reason, I just don't seem to GET that memo.

I know that God created me soft.  (hey! i didn't mean in the midsection ;)  I am a strange variety of woman who seems to not be able to be hardened by crap in life.  You'd think i would have written off everyone by now, but here I am.  Hurt.   It has good things about it.  I'm able to be an outstanding mom, i'm able to be a great lover, a really good friend, I'm pretty loyal, overall...  but there's a price.  And i'm paying it now.

 Its ok, it is what it is.  I'll take a shower tonight.  Have a good cry and start over again tomorrow.  I'm having way too many crying showers these days, for my taste... but it is what it is.  Hey, i think i found my gravestone inscription

Rebecca Kvenvolden
Wife, mother, friend
"It is what it is"

Wow, that's depressing.  Maybe i should keep working on that one :)  I'll be back tomorrow.  With something hopefully not depressing to say!  thanks for listening, world wide web :)


  1. View it like a parking lot. Sometimes it's empty,sometimes it's full. But for now, those slots are again open for a new energy.

  2. that's awesome :) what a cool way of looking at it!