from another blogger, a military wife. In it, she explains her suicide. http://misadventuresofanarmywife.blogspot.com/2011/04/final-goodbye.html I was shocked reading this, because while our situations are so very different, SO many of the feelings associated with long term depression are the same. I remember how hard it was to be a military wife in NON-war times, can't even imagine now. I am outraged having read this, and sad... so very sad. I will be following this lady's blog and will be praying for her.
It occurred to me, while reading her blog, how much of everything that we do is due to the grace of God alone. Its only those of us that reach that POINT, where we KNOW we can't do it alone that truly GET this, we don't have to just "believe" we KNOW by experience. I know that my life is hanging by a thin thread, that all I can do is cry out to the Lord and put my life in HIS hands (or at least acknowledge that it already is!) over and over and over again. And reassure myself constantly, that THIS is as close as i'm getting to hell.