Today at mops was testimony day! a wonderful, though tear-filled day that we have each year. I did a cardboard testimony, and I am not kidding when I say that i bawled like a baby the whole way up and down the stage. I think it was a good thing. Its been a long time since i've cried and really MOURNED my own lack of childhood. I OFTEN cry about other people- heck, i cry at movies and commercials, but I think i'd just gotten so distanced from myself that I'd never even thought to cry, and I have a lot to mourn. Just seeing my own children and their childhood is so foreign to me. I know God is leading me through being a co-head of a functional family, thank goodness, and its so wonderfully fulfilling to see my own children growing up safe. They are safe, loved, nurtured and most of all, not used. That is the worst feeling ever. When you grow up being used, particularily used for sexual purposes, you begin to feel like that is your function and that is all you are good for. Which is obviously not true. Each one of us is precious, created in the image of God Himself, and deserves to be cherished, loved, treated like a human being.
And it was also today that it really hit me what my dear friend who is gifted in prophecy told me almost a year ago. She told me amazing things, and i really can't share them here, but I will say that the Holy Spirit did not lie to her. They are HAPPENING in my life. I get to be the witness to miracles. What a privilege.