Is God JUST? Is God GOOD?

I saw a video on facebook recently, by Francis Chan, an author and brother in Christ that I very much admire. He was talking on the subject of hell: a heated subject no doubt, but he also bunny trailed off on to things in general that God does or said and suggested his opinion of how to deal with not understanding God's will. And it made me think, yet again about the "why's" WHY did i not win the ovarian lottery? WHY did i end up in a home where i'd be molested from toddlerhood, and the resultant effects that carry through even to adulthood- WHY?? I was innocent! i was a BABY. WHAT kind of God would put a BABY in those hands? (If you are not familiar with my story, please feel free to scroll down to the beginning of my blog, I posted my story there.)

I've struggled with this issue. It still is a struggle. And considering my history, i feel qualified to address this subject online. Because I believe that despite my experience God is good. Because my past is not the end of the story. Many (MOST people, if given the same circumstances as me would not be alive now. I KNOW that I did nothing to contribute to my own welfare during this time. In contrast, i have engaged in countless self destructive behaviors, drinking, drugs, sexual activity before marraige, i've attempted to eat myself to death, have completely disregarded my body. But God has been there for me. God swiftly propelled me out of the abusive situation I was living in, He directed me to an amazing man who loves me and cares for me, even when I behave badly toward him. He's provided me with 7 beautiful children who have become my cheerleaders. They know my history, they love me and support me. The family I always wanted- I HAVE! And its all because of HIM, the One who gave up His own son, for ME, and has never failed to show me that despite my unfortunate circumstances, I am HIS and He loves me and will NEVER leave me.

I pray and hope that what happened to me in my childhood will NOT be for nothing. I don't think its a coincidence that my gifts and talents are in the areas of writing and public speaking. I don't think its a coincidence that my personality is very people-based. I'm totally a people person, i love to relate to others, i love to hang out and talk and am friendly. I would love nothing more than for my gifts and talents to be able to be used to glorify HIM, to nurture and encourage some of the millions of people who have endured sexual assault. I have to believe that this can be turned around and used for good. And I do. I have faith, and more than that, i believe that God IS indeed good. I believe what He said in His word:

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Deuteronomy 7:9
Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.

Psalm 31:23
Love the LORD, all his faithful people! The LORD preserves those who are true to him, but the proud he pays back in full.

Psalm 33:18
But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love

Psalm 103:11
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;

That's just a few of the hits i got when searching "those who love Him" on Biblegateway.com. God's word is clear- He LOVES us, and just because we can only see a tiny bit of the picture, we don't know what our future holds- what miracles we will experience, what miracles we will witness, if we just keep persevering, even when its really really hard. That is my goal, and i KNOW that through HIS power alone, He can get me through this, and he can get YOU through whatever your struggles are as well. NOTHING is too big for Him- the creator of the world. Be encouraged! He's got it covered,
With Love,
Rebecca